Angel, I Hear You
by measureinlove
Summary: A story intertwined with the 2nd act or 2nd half of the movie. It is mainly following Angel and Collins, documenting those months between Christmas and Halloween. It combines events from the movie and the stage musical. Rated T for language and relationsh
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own RENT or the characters in RENT, and I highly respect the copyright of the musical and movie. The characters are an inspiration. I also do not promote drinking or using drugs. So don't do it! ;-)

January 1st

The fireworks exploded several blocks away, as Collins, Angel, Maureen, Joanne, Roger, Mimi, and Mark watched the party in Times Square on TV. The temptation to show off Angel and Maureen in their costumes was great, but they had opted to celebrate the New Year in their neighborhood instead of posing with the tourists and wanna-be celebrities. Collins was positive that it was going to be a spectacular New Year. His first full year as a couple with Angel could only bring happiness. He watched her as she whispered to Mimi and Roger convincing them to celebrate instead of bicker. Between Maureen and Joanne and Mimi and Roger, there was always a constant battle. He stood back and watched her do her magic. First, a smile on Mimi's face appeared, and then after poking and prodding Roger, a rare smile appeared on his face. She handed them the bottle of cheap champagne, and left them to celebrate the New Year together- if only a few minutes late.

February 14

The New Year had turned out quite well so far. After the initial set back of being locked out of the loft, a new job has been secured and an engagement had been made. On the same day even! Collins and Angel were now housed downtown at the Ritz thanks to Angel's second and third job from Benny's neighbor, Joan LaMonde.

It brought great pleasure to receive large amounts of money to torture Benny. Luckily, Angel's other endeavors weren't quite so violent. They mainly encompassed changing the settings on Benny's lawn sprinklers, so that he would become soaking wet before going off to work, and ripping out the hideous carpeting in the hallway that Benny's wife had insisted on. Angel required everyone's assistance on the carpet task, and they all sat there with razors and mini-steamers silently scraping and peeling the floral carpet off in the middle of the night. Mark had a panic attack thinking they were going to get caught which was highly amusing since he had no problem avoiding the rent bills that Benny placed under his door every day. Apparently, Alison's face was priceless when she found out that the pattern was out of print, and Benny's neighbor won once again as bland beige carpet bathed the hallways.

The experience at the Ritz had been one to remember. Mrs. LaMonde had agreed to pay for a month at the hotel with meals included. Apparently, she was related to the owner, who had no idea why such characters were being housed at their first class facility. Collins grinned every time Angel walked out into the lobby in one of her outfits. In fact, one day, she spent the whole day creating different looks and trying them out on her captive audience.

It was the day of Maureen and Joanne's commitment ceremony, and Collins was quite surprised when she walked out in a pink and black suit. It was almost…something you could buy at Saks.

"Did you decide to shop on 5th today, hon?" Collins said lowering the _Village Voice_ in amazement.

"Actually, I borrowed it from the woman in room 781. We've become quite good friends. Ready?"

Collins straightened his tie, and nodded. They walked out the door to catch a cab to the country club.

Hours later, they returned to their room feeling exhausted. First, Maureen decided to make a scene at the party. The group had bolted before the Jeffersons and Johnsons could explain the situation to their guests. They returned to find the loft with actual furniture which was quite amazing, and one additional fixture, Benny standing there waiting for his photo op. After being sure to push Roger's buttons, he left with a grin and Roger stormed out the door angry at Mimi's timid explanation of previous encounters with Benny. Mimi was quite upset, and of course, Angel was there by her side, and pushed Collins out the door to find Roger. They made up for the time being, but who knew how long that would last. Probably as long as Benny stayed away from the loft. Angel took off her earrings and collapsed on the couch; Collins followed suit placing his arm around Angel. They snuggled as Angel took advantage of the cable television, MTV certainly had some singers with eye-catching fashions, but Collins had other things in mind. There was only one week left in the suite, and he was going to make the most of it. They shared a soft kiss, but a knock on the door interrupted them.

"We don't need the beds turned down." shouted Angel as she turned the TV off. She didn't need any pop-stars to tell her how to dress. Collins was a much better option for entertainment.

"Guys, it's me," a familiar, yet nasal, wobbly voice, was calling through the door.

Collins sighed, stood up, opened the door, and figured that taking advantage of this last week at the hotel might work out differently than planned.

Angel gave Joanne a kiss on the forehead assuring that everything would work out, and then went to the back to change giving Collins and Joanne some time to talk.

Days later, Joanne had finallycome to peace with the commitment ceremony incident which she considered to bea professional and personal embarrassment. While Maureen ran straight out the door (and most likely into someone's arms), Joanne had to stand by her parents as the Jeffersons explained that the vows would not be spoken today due to a "lovers' spat."

Eventually, Joanne pulled her self together, changed out of Collin's sweats, which she had been wearing for three days straight,and back into her clothes from the ceremony. She left Maureen's jacket which she took from the country club with Collins, and decided to spend some time in Vegas leaving Angel and Collins to savor their last night together at the Ritz. And that they did!

The next morning Angel prepared for a tea with her former employer and new friend. They rang the doorbell, and Angel greeted each woman with a kiss on each cheek. Collin's dutifully introduced himself. He watched the interesting conversation for a bit, and then excused himself to the small pub and smoking room attached to the hotel. He decided he would take all the free cigars he could get, and he hit up two separate men so that he could save several for Angel.

When he returned Collins was packing up as the servers cleared the remnants of the tea.

"Do you want a job?" she asked as she packed away a long bright turquoise raincoat. He looked at her wearily and started packing the liquor from the mini-bar.

"What kind of job?" he asked. While he loved Angel's adventurous nature, he was not about to rip carpet out of another fancy apartment building.

"Mrs. LaMonde has a nephew who is at NYU. He isn't going to pass. She says we can have a small apartment by the river, if you help him with his papers and finals. She says it will take at least four years, and as long as he passes his classes, we can keep the place for that long. It won't put food on the table, but I'm sure I can secure some dough for that." Collins heart jumped when Angel mentioned a four year commitment. He felt that they could last that long, but she never really mentioned anything regarding how long this would last. It was secure for now, nothing like Mimi and Roger's or Maureen and Joanne's tumultuous relationships, but putting out a time frame that long was overwhelming. He kissed her, and said yes. For four years of a secure and comfortable home with Angel, he would tutor any lazy, dumb-ass college student. Then he paused. "What if…" She knew what he was thinking. What if one of them didn't make it that long? Four years could be a lifetime for a person with HIV. They hadn't even spoken of their disease in weeks. Life Support meetings had been thrown to the side since they were feeling wonderful, almost on some other-worldly high. They still took their meds, but it was such a routine that opening the pill bottle or setting the alarm was second nature. There was no thought of why they, two young people in love, left the doctors with paper bags filled with medicine bottles.

Angel stopped him. "Not today," she said and gave him a kiss. "Let's just savor this." Angel leaned in for a small kiss, which turned into a longer one. Soon Collins called the front desk requesting a late check out, and Angel placed the do not disturb sign on the door.

"Who needs a fancy commitment ceremony?" Angel said.

"Not us." Collins nodded leading her to the bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

March 2nd

Finally, Collins and Angel rejoined the group, or what was left of it. Since they were preoccupied for quite some time with setting up their new place and enjoying the comfort of knowing they would be in one place for a long time, they hadn't had a chance to hang at the loft.

Joanne had decided to move out of Maureen's, and she hadn't been in contact with any of them for quite some time. Angel would take the initiative and check on her from time to time, but that was it. Maureen was nursing her "broken heart," by hang out at all her usual spots, and Mimi hadn't stayed at the loft for quite some time.

It was clear to Angel who finally checked in on her that she was using, and the Cat Scratch Club was providing plenty of money to get anything she wanted. Benny was usually seen hanging out at her place when he was in the area. Mimi swore that nothing was happening between them, though Benny had gotten her some smack when she couldn't get out of bed. She was obviously depressed and incredibly dependant on the drugs. She hadn't been to Life Support for over a month, but Angel couldn't chide her for that since Collins and she hadn't been to the meetings either. Looking at her, in Roger's old sweatshirt with her blank darkened eyes, Angel knew that she could no longer allow this. Angel, herself, could not convince her she needed to stop. While they were good friends, it would go in one ear and out the other. Roger, on the other hand, had been there, and there was the small fact that Mimi was still in love with him.

So, she went downstairs, burst into the loft, and pulled a sulking Roger out of his room. Collins looked at her confusedly, but she took no notice. Mark looked on as if he was glad someone else was dealing with his pissy roommate for once.

"Listen to me. Mimi is sitting on her bed with empty eyes in your nasty old sweatshirt. Not Benny's, though I doubt he has any nasty sweatshirts, yours. Mark, over here, has probably had just enough of your depressed guitar music to last him a lifetime. He was also the one that helped you through your addiction. Get your pouty ass downstairs and help that girl."

The group in the loft was silent. Roger glared at her and plopped down on their couch. He looked down at his sweatshirt (or nasty sweatshirt- as Angel would put it). He stood up, stripped down to his white undershirt, and walked out the door. Mark, Collins, and Angel followed worried about what would happen next.

The door to Mimi's apartment was unlocked, and Roger threw it open. Mimi huddled in the corner of her bed. It looked as if she was about to drift to sleep before the door flew open. Roger walked to the side of the bed, and literally sat her up. She unwillingly complied since she had little strength. He bent down, and gave her a long kiss moving his hands from her shoulders all the way down to her thighs. Benny walked in at that precise moment towatch the whole scene. Mimi responded to the kiss allowing it to continue. Slowly, Mark and Collins pushed Benny away from the door. Angel stayed for a moment to make sure that Mimi was okay.

"We are going to get through this." He whispered to her. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up." They walked to the bathroom, Roger's hand in the small of Mimi's back. Obviously, Mimi's compliance would become less as the uniqueness of Roger's appearance became less, but for now, they were on the right track. Angel closed the door behind her leaving Roger and Mimi in the bathroom.

August 11th

Angel was right. The road was not easy, and the attitude in the loft was one of surviving the next hour. Mimi had, in fact, moved back in with Roger and Mark. Things were getting better, after struggling through the initial withdrawal, but a phone call from Mimi's mom had set off Mimi's emergency signal in her brain. Her young brother had joined a gang and moved out of the house. The constant panicked calls from her mother and sister were too much. Roger had begun to return to his mood. The constant all-nighters with Mimi were taking its toll. Mimi was fine during the day, but suffered after work. Apparently, one of the main reasons that she would decide to use is if a particularly rich man would corner her in the club. Apparently, security had a blind eye toward a certain clientele, and when that clientele zoned in on Mimi things could get pretty scary. Of course, the club knew that she was HIV positive, so no one got too far. The owner didn't want to get slapped with a law suit of some sort.

One day, Collinssaw her in the park where she usually got her fix. She was functional, but obviously looking for her dealer. Apparently on the days, nights, or weekswithout Roger, she was using on a constant basis. She once told Angel, during an intense evening of withdrawal symptoms, that without him it felt like she was cornered in the club every night- empty, defeated, disgusted, and alone. She was obviously struggling, but she hung out with the group, went to work, and enjoyed spending most days with Roger. They all went to the Wednesday Life Support meeting together, and they always hit the Life Café afterward. Even Maureen would attend on occasion, but only if she thought she might get a free dinner. Apparently, Joanne was quite the catch now that she saw what else was out there.

Angel and Collins were fixing up their place. Collins had obtained some beautiful furniture from a former colleague, and Angel, of course, found all kinds of cheap things that would help it look unique. In addition to visiting the loft, they began enjoying time to themselves. It seemed like everyone's problems were under control for the time being, and the could spend days at home just the two of them. The college student was doing well in his classes, so tutoring was basically on an as needed basis, but Ms. LaMonde kept her end of the bargain and they received a contract stating that the house was to be their for at least the following four years.

Today was Collin's birthday, and Angel had decided to throw a small dinner party. She prepared everyone's favorite foods, and provided plenty of booze for a night to remember, or forget. The doorbell rang, letting in Mark with a…. date, a woman named Roxie from work. You could tell that she was completely disgusted with the apartment, but Collins welcomed them in gracefully. Mimi and Roger arrived with chips on their shoulders. Apparently Roger's test results weren't what they had expected, and Roger was being his usual moody self to Mimi. Maureen however bounded in behind them chatting up a storm. She was dressed in a raspberry colored blouse that showed off all of the right parts. Her tight leather pants, Mark noticed, still fit very well, and she immediately started the party by breaking open a bottle of cheap champagne. The night turned out alright, and they spent most of the time in light hearted discussion. Collins noticed it when Mark helped Angel clean up the dishes, but ignored it. Then Angel noticed it when she went to the bathroom. Roxie and Maureen had been in constant conversation. Not usually one to be quiet, Mark expected this, and he was actually grateful since Roxie became quite animated only while involved in such a conversation. They had just about drunk all the booze in the apartment, and they wanted to venture out to a club to continue the party. Maureen, one always up for a party, declined and offered to take a supposedly tired Roxie home. They left quickly, leaving Mark behind without even a good-bye. While he was tiffed at Roxie for ending the date so soon, he didn't really think too much about it. Perhaps it was the beer or the fact that he was enjoying being with happy friends, but when he opened up the door to leave with the rest of the group he was genuinely shocked to find Maureen and Roxie in an intense embrace.

All he could do was sigh…"Not again..."

That pretty much ended the convivial mood, and the night ended on a bit of a downhill slope with a very drunk Mimi and cranky Mark. Maureen and Roxie, however, had quite an enjoyable remainder of the evening.

After cleaning the apartment, Angel pulled out Collin's birthday gift. It was an engraved gold ID bracelet financed by yet another unknown job assigned by Mrs. LaMonde. It said, "Love without Boundaries -From your Angel."

"It's perfect." Collin's whispered. While it was blazing during the day, the apartment became chilly on the mild summer nights. They decided to make their way to the bedroom, but didn't get too far. They settled for the soft blankets lying on the couch. Angel, exhausted from the party planning fell asleep quite quickly. As Collins, lay under the covers, he examined each finger of Angel's hand, and then his eyes were drawn to an identical golden bracelet. He carefully unclasped it to see if it was engraved. "Angel and Collins. Love without boundaries." He linked the two bracelets together and set them on the coffee table hoping that every day could be as wonderful.


	3. Chapter 3

August 15th

Collins returned home from a rare tutoring session hoping that Angel would finally be up. They had had a late night last night, but usually she was up and about by ten in the morning. A favorite saying authors by Angel, "a day wasted is a life hastened" would often plague Collins as hewould tryto goback to see most morning after waking up tothe hazy New York sunlight that blazed through the multiple windows in their bedroom. It was odd for her to sleep through Collins getting ready for work. They would usually share kisses in the breakfast nook and walk in closet to get their day off to a good start.

He burst through the door yelling, "I'm home!" He was happy, as his student had aced his Calculus exam ensuring another semester with a happy Ms. Lamonde. He threw his keys on the counter looking in the rooms for Angel, but it was silent. The couch was scattered with clothes, so he knew she had been up at some time. He went into the bedroom, and saw Angel curled up on the tail end of the bed sleeping. The wig was sitting next to her, as if she had stopped getting ready halfway through. Still in boxers and a t-shirt, she slowly opened her eyes and looked up at Collins. Collins had paused mid-step in the doorway knowing that something was wrong. Angel sat up quickly, and said "I was just about to get ready, but I decided to chill and watch a tv show."

The tv was on, but it was on a Spanish language station. Not exactly a regular channel for Angel.

"Don't lie," he said. This was the first time that Angel had seen Collins get angry in her direction. Sure, he had been angry at Roger and Mark, and yes,Collins and Angel hadhad tiffs before, but nothing that lasted for more than half a day. His voice was deeper than usual. He put his hand on the door knob. The slight age difference between the two was becoming more pronounced in the silence. Angel looked down at the golden bracelet on her wrist. He walked toward her with heavy footsteps and sat down.

"The test results came back on your birthday. The doctor told me I've moved to the next stage, but I didn't believe it. I felt elated preparing for the party and getting to see everyone. Especially a happy Mimi. Then Roger walked in all pissy about his lab results, and I decided that results are just something on a piece of paper. I wasn't lying. I just didn't think it wasimportant information."

"The next stage?"

"Full blown. It's really not that big of a change. She said I might be more tired than usual, but to stay as healthy as possible."

"So…full blown. Are they sure? Do they have anything…"

Angel just shook her head. She walked into the closet pulling out the white flowered skirt, and she pulled a hot pink tank to go with it.

"I was planning to pick up some lunch. Want to go out instead? I was thinking the organic place on third."

Collins sat still on the bed taking it in. Angel walked toward him, picked up the wig, and slowly brushed her hand past Collins knee. That was it. As affectionate as they were, neither of them wanted or could take such physical contact now.

He nodded slowly. "The place on third sounds good. What is the name of the place again?"

"Tofu-dy. Idiotic name for such supreme cuisine." And with that she placed the wig on her head, smiled, and started to change. More than she wanted to admit.


	4. Chapter 4

**September 1**

Mark was sitting on the couch at Angel and Collins' apartment. Collins stood in the kitchen brewing a pot of coffee.

"Man, it's nice to see you. You've been working like a dog. How's Roxie?"

"You're kidding, right?"

"I mean how are Maureen and Roxie?"

"Just stop."

"Yeah, what time does the movie start?" Collins asked with a grin.

"5:10."

"Perfect that will be enough time for Angel to get ready after her nap," he replied.

"How is she?"

"We're fine, thanks."

"No, how is she feeling."

"We've found a system that works. She isn't doing work for Ms. LaMonde anymore, but, let me tell you, that dang lady is over here enough. She wanted to bring Angel this or that. I mean, I appreciate that they have a friendship (go figure, they bond over a dead dog), but I really don't think she needs to be hanging over here that much."

"She does own the apartment."

"Yeah, but I tutor her blithering idiot of a nephew. It's an even trade."

"And have you guys been to the doctors?"

"Results are the same for both of us. Can we stop now? How's the film coming along?"

"Slowly, but surely," Mark said, implying otherwise.

"Yeah, just like Roger's song."

"And speaking of…" Collins asked expectantly.

"Well Mimi's over here every other day hanging with ya'll. So you know she's ok." Mark said.

"Yeah, ok with a needle in her pocket for emergency use." Collins said wrinkling her brow.

"Roger?"

"He's blinding himself to somethings, but definitely lingering on other issues, like Benny."

"Is he still in ya'lls face? I gave him a check so he could lay off."

"Yeah, well, Mimi doesn't help."

"I'm sorry, but Mimi isn't really that good at discouraging advances. Hence the huge cornering debate."

"Who has ever heard of such a thing, anyway." Mark started on a rampage at what they learned was a common practice at the higher quality strip clubs. Quite a nasty display of what money could get you.

Angel came out, sparkling in a blue shirt and red and white striped skirt.

"Nice outfit." Mark replied.

"It's almost Labor Day. I thought I'd be patriotic."

"No one could miss it."

"Ya'll ready to go?"

Collins and Angel popped their medicine into their mouths, and then followed Mark to grab some dinner before the movie.

**Labor Day**

Labor Day brought all kinds of outdoor events in New York City, and Angel insisted that they all get together to go to a street fair.

Unfortunately, Roger's eyes had been opened when he found Mimi on their bed shooting up. The amount of drugs next to her showed that she was nowhere near recovering from this addiction. So, Roger was out, and Angel didn't want Mimi in the sun that long. That left Maureen, Mark, and Angel. They walked all through Washington Square Park watching the performers and eating ice cream. It was a wonderful day despite the dark cloud of Roger and Mimi being missing from the action.

They sat on a bench waiting to see a rock band perform their opening number.

"You know, I really should try to get a gig on this stage next year."

Angel nodded, "The little preppy NYU students won't know what hit them."

"Too bad, I can't do it this year. Maybe I'll go check." She left the group heading for the stage.

"I'm going to go film some of this. It's a good contrast with our area of town." Mark wandered off leaving Angel and Collins on the bench.

They held hands and watched Maureen flirt with the stage manager. Some things never changed.

It was a quiet evening at their apartment, and Maureen and Mark left sensing the fact that Collins and Angel wanted some alone time. Angel was more tired than usual, and had a headache, but that was becoming common lately. The simply sat on the couch together before slowly getting ready for bed following the routine they had gained over the months. Collins cleaned up any dishes while Angel changed, and then they both went to the bedroom early since Collins had early mornings lately and Angel needed rest. Of course, going to bed and sleep were two different things.

That night, Angel got out of bed around 2 am. She slowly lifted Collins arm off her waist. She felt like she was going to hurl the ice cream from the afternoon if she didn't get to the bathroom right away.

The retching sound woke Collins from a dead sleep. At first, he thought it was someone on the street, but he rolled over to find an empty bed.

He saw Angel leaning against the toilet and reaching to turn on the hideous nightlight Maureen had purchased for a housewarming gift. He walked in to the bathroom noticing that Angel was shaking all over. This wasn't food poisoning. After the sickness subsided, he led Angel back to bed with a wet wash cloth. He took her temperature much to her chagrin. "It was nothing." She said. "It isn't what you're thinking."

Angel's shuddering body said otherwise. This was exactly what Collins was and had been thinking about since August 15th, and he had a feeling that he would continue thinking about it for a long time.

"We're going to the hospital."

"No. I'm fine."

"You're not."

"Just give me a chance to recover. What the hell. Are you my f-ing nurse all of the sudden."

"I will be."

"Just get the hell out of here. Go sleep on the couch."

"I'm not leaving you."

"And I'm not leaving this bed."

"Good thing, there's a chair in here."

"That's an antique, you know. It's not meant for your fat behind."

With that Angel's shaking subsided, and Collins decided that he would wait to see what the morning brought. Yet, the shallow breaths told him that tomorrow was not going to bring him what he needed.


	5. Chapter 5

**September 6th**

Angel slept most of the day. The vomiting started in the morning again, but subsided as a cough began.

Mimi was over, but going through withdrawal without Roger wasn't a kind experience. She looked rotten, and really couldn't help Collins with anything. She mostly kept Angel company. Since they were up most of the night, the day only really began around 2 pm. Mimi stayed until it was time to go to work.

At 11 pm, Angel's coughing was uncontrollable. She was sweating and shaking. She no longer had the feisty replies she had earlier in the day.

"We're going."

When she didn't reply his heart dropped, but his hands moved into action, carrying the thin body down the stairs of their beloved apartment.

There were no cabs in this area, so they took the subway. Angel sat up for the first half, but feeling nauseas he slumped on to Collin's shoulder grasping his hand as the train swayed.

The rest of the night was a lot of waiting in the ER while comforting a now distressed Angel. Her body heat could be felt through the thin blanket they gave her. His fever was obviously higher.

By the time they saw a doctor, Angel was fast asleep, and soon he was placed in a room. Collins sat on the edge of the bed unable to rest his own tired body. Machines beeping and IV bags hanging distracted him, but he couldn't keep his eyes off a sleeping Angel.

**September 7th**

That morning, the nurses and doctors bustled in before the sun was up. Angel was in and out of a light sleep, every so often checking to see that Collins was still by her side. Collins tapped his foot nervously, and finally, left while the nurse was checking her vitals. He didn't want to do it, but he had to let Mark and Roger know. He picked up the phone in the lobby and dialed their number.

"Speak!"

"Hey, guys it's Collins. I just wanted to let you know that we're at the hospital. Angel's been admitted. We haven't seen a real doctor yet, so we don't really know what the hell is going on. We're in room 432 if you want to call. …bye."

When he walked around the corner he saw the doctor enter Angel's room, and Collins quickly sprinted down the hall walking in behind the young woman. She turned around surprised to see someone behind her, but smiled none the less.

"Hi, Mr. Shunard?" It was odd to hear her address Angel as a mister. Angel slowly propped herself up coughing a bit.

"Call me Angel."

"Alright, Angel. I'm Doctor Ennis, but call me Jody. I read you had a pretty rough night. Let's see how we are doing today."

Collins recited the symptoms as the doctor looked through her chart and checked some of the machine.

"I don't see anything on the heart monitor, and the IV seemed to re-hydrate you. Are you still on your drug regimen?"

"Yes." Collins and Angel replied in unison. He reached for Angel's hand. Dr. Ennis shifted her weight as Collins sat on the edge of the bed. Her tone of voice immediately turned cold.

"Are you feeling better today?" Angel nodded, and moved her hand to indicate that she was feeling a tad better.

"I'm going to send you in for some tests and put you on some strong antibiotics. I'd like to say that it was just a germ that took its toll on your system. Your vitals and blood test don't show anything out of the ordinary for this stage, but of course, we would like to see the T-cells go up, not remain the same. I'm going to send you up for an x-ray. The vomiting has me worried a bit. Did you eat anything that might have been cooked incorrectly or upsetting to your stomach?"

Angel shook her head.

"Well, I'll send you for the chest x-ray as well as some tests to see if we can find what might have caused this reaction. The drugs you're on now can have this effect you know."

Angel nodded, resisting the urge to tell her that the side effects should have happened long ago.

"For now, we will keep you on the same drugs and the IV, but I do believe that you're over the worst of it."

_For now_, Collins thought, extraordinarily upset by the lack of answers.

Hours later, Angel was sitting up and eating the lovely hospital lunch, and Collins waited impatiently for someone to come in with the results of the test and x-rays. He could tell that Angel was still weak, but she tried to hide it as much as possible commenting on the horrible daytime talk show they were watching on the TV in the corner of the ceiling.

The door flew open after lunch with a very tired looking Mark and Roger.

"How are you?" Mark asked Angel as Roger patted Collins on the shoulder.

"I've been better, hon."

"You were fine yesterday."

"I honestly think I just over did it. Eating all that disgusting street food and sitting out in the heat. I'm starting to think that it is nothing more than the after effects of a lovely New York celebration."

Roger face clearly showed that he didn't believe this.

The doctor, of course, finally returned about five minutes after Roger and Mark entered the room. They quietly left, and doctor sat down to counsel with them both.

"Well, the test results are as expected. Nothing out of the ordinary for this stage. Once we get some fluids into you, there isn't too much to do but to rest. I'm sure you'd rest more comfortably at home?"

Angel nodded.

"Great." Jody's pager went off. "We'll have the nurse set you up with the pills, and then your free to go. I hope you feel better soon." Jody exited the room before either of them could ask a question, and brushed past Roger and Mark without a hello.

Angel was quite happy with this answer. Her eyes brightened up immediately, and she began to reach for the t-shirt and jeans that were nicely folded on the small dresser. Collins put his hand on hers to stop her from getting ready just yet, motioned for Roger and Mark to go into the room, and he left without a word.

He caught up with the doctor who was just about to step onto the elevator.

"You're telling me that you're going to let her go with a few antibiotics. It sounds like the type of advice you'd give a sick school teacher. Rest comfortably. Angel is in the last stage. She was shaking in my arms last night with a burning fever.

The doctor was silent until the elevator doors opened.

"Listen…Mr. ….or is it Ms. Collins?" she said with a smirk. "Angel is in the last stage. At this point, it's only a matter of time. There really isn't much hope to up the T-cells. Yes, this is probably more than a bug that will take a bit of time to recover from, but I see no need in admitting Angel in the hospital for simple flu like symptoms. The fact is that A.I.D.S. patients quickly go downhill hill in immunity once admitted to the hospital. Now, take your girlfriend home, and leave the bed for someone we can help. I'd say pick up the bill at the front desk, but I already know that it won't get paid."

With that, Dr. Ennis left Collins standing in the hallway speechless. A professor at NYU left without words or the power of argument. And actually confirmation that this was most likely the beginning of the end.

He pushed the elevator button, and waited to go back down to Angel's floor and pick up the release papers.

**September 10th**

Three days later, Collins and Angel were in the same waiting room, and this time they both knew that release papers weren't in the near future.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note Thanks for all the reviews! I really appreciate all the feedback.

**September 14th**

After being admitted, their new doctor, Mr. Klein informed them that Angel in fact had pneumonia, the antibiotics prescribed were useless, and that Dr. Ennis had in fact been jilted at the altar by her now out of the closet ex-fiancé. Mr. Klein, however, was an expert in the field of HIV/AIDS research and recommended by Ms. LaMonde who had visited Angel at the apartment a few days ago.

**September 30th**

As time went by, the hospital room became like home to Collins. While Mimi and Mark stayed with Angel on a good day, Collins went to their apartment and picked up all the knick knacks that he could find. He packed Angels favorite pajamas, make-up, and a particular blanket that always end up over Angel's legs when sitting on the couch with Collins.

While Roger had been quite supportive in the few days that Angel had been home, he hadn't visited the hospital for days. Maureen stopped by on the way to rehearsal for a special performance artist event. Mark made a point to stop in, with his camera, every day. He wouldn't film if Angel wasn't in the mood, but he brought it every visit. Mimi, looking brighter and happier than ever, stopped in for several hours every day. She would allow Collins to go home and change clothes and make sure that the apartment was taken care of. Angel was happy to see a cheerful Mimi, but even feeling as crappy as was feeling, Angel could tell that she was using on a regular basis again. The lack of mentioning Roger was a clue, and the fact that she would every so often excuse herself for a long time.

Collins received a message from Joanne which he discovered on a quick trip home. She stated that she was back in New York, but she didn't leave a contact number. So, it was quite a surprise when Joanne burst through the hospital door with flowers, scented candles, and trashy magazines.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" she asked in anger as she kissed Angel on both cheeks.

"You didn't leave a number."

"Oh, yeah," Joanne sprang into action setting up the room and discussing aromatherapy which she had been introduced to in her time away.

"I thought it was quite hokey at first, but it really does seem to relax you. At least for a bit."

They chatted in a group for a while, and, when Angel was tired, stepped out in the hall so that she could rest.

"Collins…" Joanne said with scared eyes. "Have I really been gone for that long?'

He nodded.

"She looks….so different. She's still Angel, I can't believe she's in drag in the hospital, but the sparkle is gone."

"We'll just have to sparkle for her," said a voice. They turned to see Maureen dressed in khaki cargo pants and an olive green tank. Collins very quickly excused himself, and decided to take a nap with Angel. He crawled into the bed spooning against her every so often sitting up to glance through the rectangular window of the hospital door.


	7. Chapter 7

**October 10th**

It was clear, for the time being, that everyone was in a on a truce at this point. Collins had to leave to tutor and take care of everyday errands and chores once a day, and Mark, Mimi, Joanne, and Maureen pitched in while he was gone.

Angel, while tiring easily, gained a bit of her sparkle back being with almost everyone she loved.

"When is my floppy haired guitar player coming to visit?" she asked Mark on a particularly energized afternoon.

"Well, he's been calling, so he says."

"Yes, but I must have some angst. All these cheery faces aren't the same if I don't have my stressed out pretty-boy."

"I'll try to get him to come here."

"Don't worry. I know how he feels. When Pat was in here, it was never a particularly uplifting experience. Seeing what would happen," Angel pulled down a sleeve to cover a sore on her arm.

"Don't push him. He'll come in his own time."

**October 12th**

Clearly, Mark had pushed Roger into showing up. He sat slumped in a chair as everyone surrounded the bed. Flowers covered the dressers. The nurses had taken a liking to Angel over the past few weeks and ignored that there were too many visitors in the hospital room.

He, of course, gave Angel and Collins a hug, but sat silently glaring at a healthy looking, even if tired, Mimi. Mimi had taken initiative to paint Angel's nails with her silver blue nail polish. The nurses told her that it would have to be taken off, but she ignored them. Maureen was arranging flowers and regaling the group with a story of her latest performance, which hadn't gone as planned. Mark was filming the whole thing. It was a good day, and Angel was enjoying the ebullient atmosphere. Collins stood back watching Angel interact with everyone, and especially, teasing Roger. It was hard to see Angel without her beloved wig and outfits. The IVs made it a ridiculous effort to dress in drag. While one nurses would said she would help, she only felt comfortable letting Collins stand there for balance. Eventually, they both realized that it was a waste of precious time and energy. The group noticed, but it was still the same old Angel inside. Joanne told Collins in the hall, that she liked Angel better this way.

"The clothes don't out shadow the bright personality."

When visiting hours were over, the nurses did ask that everyone leave. Mark and Roger cleared the Chinese food boxes from the dresser and nightstand, and everyone said their goodnights. Angel gave each one of them a kiss goodnight, and told Roger to report with a better attitude next time.

"That was fantabulous." Angel said full of energy.

"That it was. Like old times."

"What do you mean old times?" Angel asked.

"Well…"

"We are in the here and now. Don't reminisce about the past. There isn't anything worth discussing that isn't the same now as it was three months ago."

Collins changed the subject.

"We are going to have to take that nail polish off."

"Psshhh, let Susan do it. She can spend more time on that and less time poking me with a needle."

Collins laughed and hopped up on the bed.

"You're looking energetic tonight."

"So are you." Angel replied.

They waited until the nurse said, "lights out" and then quietly cuddled under the covers.

"I'm glad Roger came to visit." Angel said.

"Me, too."

"I mean today. I knew he would come, but I'm just glad he made it today. It wouldn't have been the same without him."

"Yeah, I know. I can't imagine…." Collins.

"Listen to me." Angel said abruptly.

Collins paused in mid-sentence.

"When I'm gone…."

Collins shook his head in the dark, but Angel could see it but continued anyway.

"When I'm gone. I want you to take care of them. All of them. I mean, you can't put Mimi into rehab by yourself, but she desperately needs it, so when she decides it's time…"

"I know."

"And Mark. Make sure he doesn't shut himself in with Roger, or just work at Buzz Line the whole time. And Roger. Don't let him mope. There is no use in it. And you. …. Take care of you. Don't ... you shouldn't…. mope either." Collins was silent, but Angel continued."And, we have to discuss how you are going to get a VCR smuggled in so we can watch Pretty Woman again. Mimi and I haven't had our monthly viewing yet." Collins kissed Angel on the cheek and turned over. Tears were in his eyes.

She knew. And she was warning him.


	8. Chapter 8

**October 20th**

While the group had gathered again that week, it wasn't the same. Angel wasn't feeling up to it, and slept through most of the visit. Collins informed them that her T-cells were falling at an alarming rate, and that even Dr. Klein said it was time to make sure she was comfortable. This meant that each person in the group took a bigger responsibility. Mark, like the mother of a family, made sure everyone was fed and clothed. Joanne and Maureen tried to avoid each other at all costs. Maureen, however chipper she might be, hadn't lost a friend or even family member in her life, and she wasn't too crazy about hospitals. She did a lot of phone calls and errands as well, but she tried to stop in for a short visit everyday. Joanne took care of the legal end of things including dealing with the hospital bills. Roger had not returned to the hospital since the Chinese food night, but he called every night before lights out.

Collins, of course, was there day and night. He no longer left the hospital for breaks. He changed and showered in the room. He left the apartment to Ms. LaMonde's care, and he focused entirely on Angel. He had started to develop sores that wouldn't heal on his hand and and feet, so he took to massaging them with Vanilla lotion, Angel's favorite. Mimi would work the late shift, and she spent many days talking and reading to Angel. She was only a child herself, in great danger as well, but she held Angel's hand while he coughed and wheezed. She also held Collins hand when he could no longer take the constant pain of watching Angel's colorful persona disappear.

**October 25th – October 29th**

While Angel had a good hour or two, the majority of the days were spent sleeping and taking medicine. The doses were so high that nausea set in. The pneumonia was back. Dr. Klein warned Collins about staying all day in the room, but he didn't move a muscle. The nurses knew better than to urge him to go home now. They merely walked in, gave Angel's hand a squeeze, did their job, and walked out. Angel had a catheter now, too weak to leave the bed or to control her own bodily functions. Maureen and Roger attempted to visit, but the foreignness of death and hospitals made them stay out in the hall for most of the visits. Mimi stayed with Angel in the afternoons allowing Collins to eat a quick meal or make a phone call. She fed him ice chips and retold favorite stories about when they used to hang on the streets together. Angel still knew was going on when she awake, and she became more dependant on Collins. Angel often refused him to leave the room for a moment, so the only breaks Collins had was when she was sleeping peacefully.

One afternoon, Angel amazingly had the strength to prop up, brush her teeth and talk with Collins. She thanked him for everything over the past few weeks, and then she told him to go home. At first, he couldn't believe his ears, he thought the medicine must be screwing with her mind, but she was incredibly clear just a moment ago. She repeated it.

"Go home. Go to our home, and go to sleep."

"I'm not leaving."

"You deserve to get away from this."

"And you deserve for me to stay."

"It's not about deserving at this point. Just go home. I'm fine."

"So am I. I'm staying." He kissed her on the forehead and her chapped lips. She seemed to run out of energy at this point, and scooted down in the bed. She was silent. She reached for his hand, and he crawled into the small bed. They stayed there for hours. Amazingly, despite for the coughing, Angel was able to rest relatively comfortably. The nurses didn't disturb them or talk to them. Neither of them spoke, though Collins gently rubbed her back and comforted her when she coughed. They drifted off to sleep together.


	9. Chapter 9

**October 30 – 12:30 am**

Angel gasped for breath and held on to Collins hand as she shuddered. She started heaving uncontrollably and broke into a cold sweat. Collins sat up out of a dead sleep and began to comfort her. Her hand squeezing his more fiercely every time she heaved, he whispered to her to try to relax and that everything would be ok. Then the shivering started. First, only a small bit, then it came to the point that she was chattering. He tried to get up to get an extra blanket, but she wouldn't let go.

"Make it stop." He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. After so many days of caring for Angel, nothing was working this time. Even on her worst days, they would find something that would work.

"Let me get a nurse."

"No." Heaving again, this time spitting up blood. "Don't leave me."

"I won't …I'll never leave you."

The machines were beeping like crazy. She held on to his hand, shaking and chattering. Collins lifted her up and sat under her holding her with all his might. He covered her arms with his and pulled the blanket up to her chin. Cough proceeded again, and Angel tried to mutter something, but Collins told her to stop. One more spell of heaving left Collins covered in blood.

"I'm…ta…"

"It's ok." he said.

"I love you," she said as her eyelids fluttered.

"I love you, too."

Angel's breathing turned shallow, and Collins stroked the black curly hair on her head. Her body was finally calm.

"Angel?" but there was still breath hitting his arm. Angel reached up to Collins's hand, she grabbed on to the sheet with more might than she had had in months, and then her arms slowly slacked to the side. There was one last exhalation of air, and then it stopped.

Collins sat in silence stroking Angel's hair and holding her hand. Then slowly, for the first time, he cried. Silently in the dark hospital room, the one fluorescent light shimmering against Angel's perspiration, he sat alone and cried. Silent tears turned to quiet sobs. He sat there until a nurse entered the room, turning off the remaining monitors barely looking at Angel, just proceeding with the job ahead.

"Can you?" he asked, wiping his eyes.

She left and Collin's extracted himself from the mess of sheets and wet pillows. And he extracted himself from the weight of a frail Angel. Kissing her once more, he picked up the drumsticks on the night table, and left the room. Entering the harsh lights of the hallway in his pajamas, the nurses he knew by name looked up in sadness. He picked up the hallway phone and numbly dialed the familiar numbers.

"It's over."


	10. Chapter 10

**October 30th 9 am**

Mark and Roger insisted that Collins come back to the apartment. They waited for him most of the night, but he never showed. He walked the streets most of the night, after changing into an old pair of jeans and sweatshirt, eventually stopping at a small all night diner for black coffee. Only hours ago, he was with Angel. She was sitting up and talking. Now she was gone.

Eventually, he did show up at the loft when the sun was rising. Mark, Roger, Maureen, Joanne, Mimi and Benny were waiting there for him.

"We were worried sick," Maureen said, running up to him and throwing her arms around the familiar leather jacket. Roger stayed on the couch distant with small bloodshot eyes. Mimi ran up to him sobbing and kissing his cheek. They sat him on the couch. He was speechless, but he was glad to be with his friends. The sat around him, Mark and Joanne on the edges, Maureen and Mimi flanking Collins, and Benny behind the couch shifting his weight from foot to foot.

The stood there without words. Then the professional Joanne delicately moved into action.

"We should schedule something." She said.

Collins took a deep breath and nodded.

"I'll take care of it." she said pulling out her cell phone.

The rest of the day was spent sitting around and talking with Collins over a large amount of Thai food. In the evening, he talked about their last moments together, and then they all shed tears together. It was late before Joanne, Maureen, Mimi, and Benny left. Roger finally went over to give Collins a hug and ask him a few questions. Then they pulled out the couch for Collins to crash on. Exhausted as he was, he wasn't able to get much sleep.

He got up at 3 in the morning and pulled out the drumsticks from his leather jacket and stared at them intently. No matter how much he tried to process it, h e just didn't want to believe it. He had seen her suffer. He never wanted that for Angel, but he certainly never wanted her to leave him. All he wanted to do was see her, smiling and laughing. He wanted to see that light one more time. He wanted to tell her goodbye. He had said it in so many unspoken ways, but he needed to see her again. He couldn't believe that she was gone, and no matter how much he wanted it to happen he would not see the radiant energetic Angel except in his memories. He knew it wouldn't be long before he saw Angel's body for the last time, but he would never see the _real_ Angel again. She was already far away.


	11. Chapter 11

**October 31st**

At 7 am, Mark got up to start the coffee, and flipped on the light. Collins had closed the couch, and he was simply waiting for everyone to wake up.

"How are you?" Mark asked.

"How do you think?...I'll be fine." Collins said, lying.

Maureen knocked on the door, and she barged in with croissants and designer coffee. She plopped the bag on Collin's lap, and said, "Eat. It will make you feel better." Then she pulled out a small photo album from her large purse. I thought we could use some of these at the service…. if you want. They're the pictures that we took after the Christmas Eve performance."

"Thanks." Collins said as he flipped through the book.

"I'm really going to miss him." she said, tearing up. She put her head on his shoulder as they went through the pictures laughing at the goofy poses that they took late at night. Slowly, the group gathered at the loft, Roger was the last to emerge from his room, and they walked to the church next to the Ryder community center.

Collins went in to take care of the final arrangements with Angel. It would be a closed coffin at the service with only select friends going into the viewing room to say good-bye. Eventually, they all sat down for their service. Roger was on one-side of the church with Mimi and Benny choosing the exact opposite side. Collins sat at the front with Paul on one side and Mark on the other. The preacher started the service, and then one by one each friend went up to the altar to speak. First Mimi, then Mark telling a classic story about Angel meeting the tourists from Idaho, and then Roger surprisingly took the stage.

"While I didn't spend much time with Angel over the last few months, she had a huge impact on my life. From encouraging friendships to encouraging me to attend Life Support meetings, Angel was a key reason I made it out of the house. She was always good at reading people. The last time I was in her hospital room, she told me that I didn't have to come back. She gave me a kiss on the cheek, and a whispered a few thing in my ear. She could tell I was uncomfortable. She must have thought that I didn't like hospitals, but I didn't like seeing her like that. She was full of energy. No one will be able to give me a swift kick in butt when I need one like she did. Not pushy or demanding, but just a loyal friend. I miss her."

Roger sat back down with Mark looking drained.

"Dude, that was the most you've said in months." Mark said, and Roger rolled his eyes cracking an unexpected smile as Maureen made her way to the altar.

After an emotional speech from Maureen, Joanne and Collins stood at the front together saying the final words. They followed the coffin to the graveyard, picking up roses on the way out the door.

One by one, they placed the scarlet roses on the coffin. They made their way to the gates leaving Collins at the coffin. He placed the flower on Angel's coffin and picked up the drumsticks. Unable to move for a moment, he thought back on the past happy months. At the beginning, he was surprised at Angel's force of energy. Drained from his teaching job, he was weary to start a draining relationship, but Angel immediately treated him and everyone with so much love that he felt full, not empty. It continued, only getting better, and now, it was unbelievable that she was gone. Once again, he was empty inside. Even more so than before. Shaking his head, he placed his hands one more time on the coffin, patted it gently, and then followed the group who were making their way to the cars.


	12. Chapter 12

After the funeral, things didn't go exactly as planned. He could hear Mimi and Maureen the minute he turned away from Angel's coffin. Mark stood in the middle trying to referee what had seemed to become a free for all. Collins could tell Roger was pissed, and Joanne didn't look any happier.

"I'd be happy to die for a taste of what Angel had, someone to live for, unafraid to say I love you." Mimi said as Collins made his way to the top of the hill. They continued back and forth screaming. Mark only added to the noise, and he was quickly ignored each time he stepped in.

Collins swiftly broke in to the argument. "Man, stop! You all said you'd be cool today. So please for my sake, I can't believe he's gone. And I can't believe you're going…" he added indicating Roger.

Roger put on a nasty face, "Why not? I'm getting out of this hell hole. Believe it. There isn't anything left here." Collins took a step back from the argument as if he had been slapped, and Roger stalked out of the graveyard alone. Mark looked at Collins, conflicted. Then he sighed and turned to follow Roger.

Maureen walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder, Joanne led Collins to a bench. He sat down drained and hurt. Roger had never talked to him like that, and he chooses now to do so.

"Ignore him," Maureen said, "he's a self centered asshole." She rubbed Collin's back, and Joanne stood off the side visibly upset as she watched Maureen comfort their friend.

He pulled himself together, he silently beckoned Joanne toward them, and he grabbed her hand quickly joining it with Maureen's. "Angel helped us believe in love, I can't believe you'd disagree. Fix it." He kissed both women on the cheek before slowly walking off to Angel's grave, alone.

---

After watching his love lower into the ground, he turned to see the pastor waiting.

"Excuse me, but we need to settle the bill. Your lawyer said nothing about the bill."

"Everything I had went to medical expenses. I have nothing, man." The pastor's face turned ugly, and he was silent as he analyzed the scene. "Off the premises now, we give no handouts here."

"Listen, if you could give me some time…," but the pastor's cold hand pushed him toward the gates.

"Off the premises, queer…" the man yelled loudly.

Collins dejectedly walked out to find Benny and Mark waiting for him, "They had've to known we didn't have any money."

"I got it." Benny said walking toward the angry man.

"Must be nice to have money," Mark replied to the sight of the civil discussion between the pastor and Benny.

"No shit," Collins said. "You still have some of that Stoli left?"


	13. Chapter 13

Two weeks after Angel's funeral, their makeshift family had fallen apart. Roger flew of to Santa Fe as soon as humanly possible, leaving Mark, Maureen, and Joanne to help Collins recover. Their first action was to try to convince Collins to go through Angel's things. Angel's grandmother had shown up at the funeral, and had asked that Collins send a few of her grandson's belongings to her apartment in the Bronx. Collin's had been staying at the loft, and he found every possible way to avoid return to Mrs. LaMonde's apartment. Joanne had picked up the things Collin's needed the day after the funeral, and Maureen returned for a few more things a couple of days later. Now that Mimi and Roger weren't around, Collins was allowed to be a mess, and he no longer tried to seem like any type of father figure of the family. He began questioning why he even bothered in the first place. He and Angel had spent so much time trying to fix everyone else's problems that he had probably lost days with Angel. Now he not only had to spend days apart from the person he loved, but an entire lifetime. Going back to the apartment where they shared so many good times would no doubt make him even more bitter at his friends.

So, he sat in the apartment in early November, eating leftover Chinese food and watching the small black and white television in the loft. Mark was off at work again, most likely filming the follow-up to the piece on vampire welfare queens who were compulsive bowlers, and Joanne was working on a case leaving the knock on the door to be coming from Maureen. He realized his deduction skills were still intact regardless of his new trashy television viewing habits as he opened the door to find Maureen's excited face.

"Hey! So I have something for you."

"Do you?" Collins said with little interest. Her methods of cheering up usually resulted in a great deal of booze and/or performance art which usually encouraged him to drink more than he was originally planning.

She nodded excitedly and pulled out a plane ticket.

"It's a ticket to Paris. It had my name on it, but I'm going to fix that. I'll just flirt with the guy at the airline counter and…"

"Why do you have a plane ticket to Europe, and why would you give it to me?"

"From my parents. They are apparently thrilled that Joanne and I are back together, and they finally got around to delivering last year's Christmas gift."

"Your parents bought you a plane ticket to Europe, last year?"

"Yeah, but we weren't exactly speaking that time, and well…. don't ask."

"Now of course, I don't want to leave Joanne with her big case. She gets so stressed about these things. I think you should take it. You always talk about your trip to Greece. And you could just backpack or something."

Collins laughed as he looked around at the shopping bags full of his possessions. "Yeah, too bad I don't exactly have a backpack."

Maureen's eyes sparkled, "I know someone who did."

And that's how Maureen, Joanne, and Mark finally encouraged Collins to go through their apartment. If Collins was going to Europe, his job with Mrs. LaMonde's nephew would obviously be impossible which implied that the apartment would no longer be paid for. It took a whole Sunday afternoon with various points where Collins excused himself before the apartment was packed up. One box of Angel's belongings were being sent to her grandmother's place, and the rest of the boxes were being stored at the loft until Collins came back for good. Collins left the apartment with Angel's brown leather backpack on his back with a few necessities for the trip. The next day another member of the family departed leaving Mark in a deserted apartment as it was about to turn cold.


	14. Chapter 14

Mark sat on the ratty couch and listened to the silence that surrounded him. He had never lived in this loft alone. It was Benny who had first secured the place, and Mark moved in soon after. Roger was the late addition, but no matter who was living in the place it was full of music, laughter, and often a bit of partying. He felt like a boring middle age man as he looked at his work clothes strewn on the floor; he felt like…his dad. He hadn't felt inspired to work on his own film in weeks. He just didn't care anymore. He didn't know where to start. Every time he thought he had a direction it inevitably fell apart. He went to the fridge to get a beer, but he forgotten to replace the last six pack. Bending down to retrieve a new six pack from under the metal table he found it. A box of film he had forgotten about. He pulled it out, and starred at the dates: 12-24-91, 12-25-91, 12-31-91/New Years.

He pulled the first canister out, and put it in the projector. It was last year. Footage of Roger playing his guitar, Collins bringing their Christmas presents and introducing them to Angel, and Maureen's performance. Mark's mind starred spinning with possibilities. What was it about that night that allowed him to feel so much? And there he found it the direction of his film intertwined with Angel's vibrant drumming, today for you. All of his friends, even Roger, were reaching out for others that night. Putting them first, even when they didn't have much to give.

Mark pulled out another canister from the box of film he had been avoiding. Angel was sitting in her hospital bed, still in drag, and holding on to Collins' hand.

"I suppose what I've learned in living for you isn't very exciting. No matter how much money you have or how much power, it doesn't really mean much if you can't bring it home to someone you love." Collins' bent down for a small kiss and then left the shot. Mark's chest contracted thinking about how Angel was relatively healthy at this point.

"I've done that though. Living for myself. Where did I end up? I could suppose it comes down to right here, in this hospital bed, sick. Not to mention that I was damn unhappy. The sickness I couldn't get rid of, but the unhappiness, that I could do something about. And I did it."

A door was heard opening and closing in the background. Collins returned to his shot.

"So if you want to know what I would like to reveal to my beloved audience, it's that I learned, the hard way, that not everything has to be about me, myself, and I. It's a lot better when it's not just all about me. To sound like Sister Taylor, my third grade teacher, giving is a lot better than receiving- even when you don't have much to give. It was a hard lesson to learn."

At that Collin's bent in for a longer kiss, Mark zoomed in, and Angel broke the kiss after a minute or two.

"That camera better be off." The camera's shot quickly fell to the floor.

"It is." Mark's voice replied. He now knew why he could never get away with lying.

"Did you hear me, boy?" Angel asked in a playful voice.

Yeah, I hear you, Mark thought.


End file.
